Motherhood

It's hard for me to believe that Isaac is one month old today. Time has seemed to pass so quickly, yet so much has happened in that amount of time. Isaac is still very healthy. I suspect that he is ten pounds now, but we'll find out for sure when we go to the doctor on Tuesday. I'm also feeling worlds better and regaining more strength each day. I'm no longer using the hospital bed, and I'm able to do many more things around the house. People keep telling me not to overdo it, and I don't think I am for the most part. I'm sure there's been a time or two when I've pushed my limits, but I have been trying to take it easy. As much as I want to move around and do things like I did before, I know that I'll just make myself out of commission even longer if I do too much right now.


People have also shown concern for my mental and emotional well-being, wondering how I'm dealing with the hysterectomy. I'm really fine though. Just today my sister asked me if we will adopt a child in the future, and I told her I don't know. Right now, my inclination is no, but who knows if that will change later. Whether we adopt more children or just have one, I'm fine with it. I really am. I'm just so thankful that God gave me Isaac, and I think he needs to be my focus right now.


I'm enjoying being a mommy too, and I feel like I'm getting the hang of things. Right now, my life is lived in increments of three hours. At the last visit, Dr. Feldman still wanted me to make sure that Isaac eats every 2 1/2 to 3 hours during the day and every 4 hours at night. Sometimes Isaac wakes up, and sometimes we wake him up. He eats, we change his diaper, play with him for a little while, and then he goes to sleep until his next feeding.


I've gotten into somewhat of a routine too. When he sleeps, I normally clean up the house and read my Bible in the morning, check e-mail (or do something else that's just for me) midday, and nap in the afternoon. Evenings are a little more unpredictable, as that's when we normally have visitors.


During the day, I usually make time for certain things. In the mornings, I'll read a Bible story to him and talk to him about what we read. He's so attentive during those times. In the afternoon, I normally sing to him. One of the baby shower gifts was a pack of Christian instrumental CDs. The lyrics are included, so I've sung the songs to him over and over in the last few weeks. Sometimes we rock in the rocking chair or just walk around the house looking at things and talking about what he sees. But, bathtime is his favorite. Isaac loves to get a bath. He doesn't fuss when I wash him, and he always smiles when I wash his face. Those times are precious.


I mentioned earlier that I'm not emotional about my closed womb. There are times, however, when I'm emotional about motherhood. Sometimes when I'm singing to him or cuddling with him, a wave of emotion comes over me as I realize, I almost didn't get to do this. And then I thank God for sparing my life on the operating table. Being a mother is very exhausting, hard work, but I'm loving it. It makes my heart overflow with joy.


Isaac has had some firsts this week:
~Thursday was the first time I heard him coo.
~Thursday was the first day I took him to the park for a walk.
~Friday was the first day that Isaac breastfed successfully for an extended period of time.
~Saturday was the first day we went for a walk at the park as a family.
~Today was his first Easter.


I've had some firsts too:
~Wednesday was the first night I slept in my own bed, instead of the hospital bed.
~Thursday was the first night I cooked dinner, because that's when we finally ran out food. (What a blessing!).
~Saturday was the first day I left the house to do something just for me. Wes watched Isaac so I could go to the spa to get a massage, and it felt GREAT!
~Today was the first day I was able to wear my wedding band.


Now for some pictures: